


Golden Child Fanfic Part 2

by Andrea250



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Affairs, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Awkward at best on my part cuz I was flustered while writing this part, Bomin is not having any of Daeyeol's shit!, But hey I hope it came out nicely I tried to smooth it out, Daeyeol feels guilty, Drugs, Hurt, I am just an innocent smol bean, I tried and that is what counts!, Jealousy, Jibeom is the best boyfriend ever, Love is a tricky game, M/M, Mafia AU, Not cuz of smut, Okay not really smut but still steamy, Rating Changed, Revenge, Sadness, Scared Bong Jaehyun, Sex and lies, Sorry for this sad excuse of Bongbeom ending, The heart is a tricky mind, Toxic Relationship, Tried to write a happy ending, Two young kids dumb and in "love", Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, as he should, i guess i don't know, m just gonna roll with it, read with caution, sensitive topics, still don't know how to tag properly, tagging as we go along, tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea250/pseuds/Andrea250
Summary: I know I haven't finished the first one but that one is coming hopefully soon but I want to keep doing more of these so here is the 2nd one enjoy!This is mainly Jangyoon and Bongbeom and I venture into other pairing but mainly those two ships. I am opened to taking request if you want one.Updates are not scheduled!
Relationships: Bong Jaehyun/Kim Jibeom, Choi Bomin/Kim Jibeom, Choi Bomin/Lee Daeyeol, Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Jangjun, Hong Joochan/Lee Jangjun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43





	1. Afraid (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone it might be slow for me to keep posting but I will try my very best to keep this going and write more. THank you for all the support and love!
> 
> -AndreaXx

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**_ Song: Afraid- The Neighbourhood _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Jangjun: (Don't mind the Jibeom in the photo... they both look so handsome tho!) _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V:  _ **

"Please open the door... I am sorry!" Jangjun had stood out in front of the older's apartment door for a few hours now.

"Please hyung just listen to what I have to say." He didn't deserve to be listened to, but he had to try.

Before he can bang on the door like hell hounds trying to escape the fiery pits of the afterlife, Sungyoon is standing there in a grey seoul uni hoody and green basketball shorts.

"You have five minutes than I want you out." He tries to hold back his malicious tongue.

"I can do that!" He tries to lighten the mood, but the black hair male was not having it.

"Make it quick or else I will close the door on you." He tries to keep the facade up but a part of him melts when he sees the blonde crack a lopsided grin.

"Hyung please let me explain what my heart truly feels." He could never explain all the ways he royally fucked up.

"Go ahead no one is stopping you." Sungyoon and the younger still standing in front of his door.

Jangjun went blank, it was like all those hours of practice in front of the mirror and asking his collective group of mutual friends to pretend to be his lover all went out the front door and on airplane mode nothing left.

"Jangjun, I swear to god if you just came here to stare at me I will close the front door." He was not in the mood to play around.

He lets out a wistful sigh and tries to collect his train of wondering thoughts.

"We can laugh and cry and say that we tried! But at the end of the day, I only want you, it has always been you, I don't want to give up on us so easily." Jangjun had always given up when the going gets rough and at a point he was okay with it but not anymore.

"I am not gonna go back and forth again Jangjun-ah it was hell!" He put his lover through the fiery depths of scorning flames of regret and misery and at times even pushed him to the front lines but no more.

"I know what I did was wrong, you deserve a hell of a lot better, but I don't want to see you with anyone else hyung!" He felt his heart tighten ten folds at the thought of someone else taking his place.

"I am tired of being just another mistake!" Sungyoon had enough he has done this dance too many times to call it healthy.

"You aren't the mistake Sungyoon, you never were, it was me who messed up and ran when I got scared. I am not confident in who I am and you are my first ever serious love and it is intense and thrilling but it is also like freefalling but without a parachute." He tries not to stumble in his own head space as he tries to find the right thing to say.

"You scare me but also elate me and that is enough for me to run cuz I have never wanted someone more than I want you." Jangjun laid his heart on the line, Sungyoon was easily wooed with words but by actions.

"You are everything I am not and a part of me is scared that you would figure that out soon and so I become self-destructive and try to find every way to blame someone else for my short comings but I am done!" He knows better and he wants to prove himself to be a better man.

"I have been out longer than you have, and I got into this relationship knowing that but Jangjun you haven't even told your family about us! For the last four years I have been your "friend" or "roommate" never your boyfriend to the ones closest to you, it is a slap in the fucking face, I am not going to do it!" He knew the older had every right in the world to shut him down.

"I swear I will tell them if it will make you happy hyung!" He was ready to lay down all his cards for his lover.

"I just want you!" Jangjun never lied and his heart has always been full of good and pure intentions.

"I wish it could be a snap of a finger to fix the problems we have and a big part of it is you trying to be passive and always trying to make it better without facing it head on." Sungyoon didn't want to fault so easily.

"I know that but please let me try to make things different!" He wanted to fight for every mournful and joyful moment they shared in the comfort of the same breath and warmth of time and life.

"Jangjun it has been barely a month when I said we should take a break but please don't do this right now. I love you and that will always be my downfall but I need time to think if us can last because forcing yourself to come out won't make me happy at all because you need to be confident in your own truth and skin; you aren't and that is fine but not for a relationship." He didn't sign up to be shoved back into the dingy empty closet of heteronormality.

He did that for majority of his life and even if their friends accepted them and it was all great and dandy but Jangjun didn't accept them in public at times or with his family, it made him feel robbed, that the one person he truly loves does not want to acknowledge him as his other half of a whole.

He doesn't know if he can go through it all again if Jangjun goes back on his word.

"You have not learned anything at all but want everything and I am not gonna do this anymore, be an adult Janjun, cuz what you are doing is acting like a child take responsibility!" He was, is, getting tired.

"Call me when you decide that you love yourself enough to be a part of our relationship cuz I am not going to love the both of us to make up for want you can't do." Sungyoon needs time to think if they could make things last and this was not the way to go about it.

"I promise I can be better just please give me that chance Sungyoon hyung!" Jangjun didn't truly understand the meaning of lose when all his life he got what he wanted and never truly had to put effort into that cuz it was already given to him on a silver throne and golden spoons.

"Goodnight Jangjun." He was't going to keep up this charade for another moment and he truly deserves better.

"Don't go." Jangjun faintly whispers as the older cuts the powerlines to his heart and the door.

**_ -The End _ **


	2. U Don't See Me (Bomin/Jibeom)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Update hope you guys like!

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**_ Song: 3 Libras- A Perfect Circle  _ **

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**_ Jibeom:  _ **

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**_ Bomin:  _ **

**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V:  _ **

He had made it known time and time again, yet it always manages to escape from his most favorite hyung, the true nature of the younger's feelings. It stings like a dagger that kisses flash and as quickly as the target is about to meet its bullseye it seems to shift its course and he internally simmers with frustration.

Does he know and does not show it?

Does he even care?

Or is he just that oblivious!

Why must Choi Bomin suffer at the unknowing hands of Kim Jibeom? Yet, without a doubt, no lie, Bomin still follows through with a heavy heart knowing that his sincere hyung does not share his unwavering love and that right there! That is the reason why he is doomed to live with the heartache.

Kim Jibeom will never see him in that way ever! That knowledge alone stung, it felt raw and opened for infection, his hopefully spirit slowly shattering almost undone from lack of confidence, he gently sighs looking out his bedroom window wondering when his roommate will be home or if he was with Jaehyun again?

He didn't hate the older but a part of him envied the older for having what Bomin could truly never have, Kim Jibeom's heart, that is something he could never possess.

He never meant to fall in love with his hyung, it was an honest mistake, well it couldn't be when in his own heart that loving the older felt almost right! Yet, his mind went hazy and into the deep as he lost his way trying to figure out what this entails and what it means to love someone that will never see you.

He is a masochist, he loves the philosophy major with his whole being that he would willingly, and unknowingly, allow the brunette to continue to rob him of his love. No matter how much his heartache with betrayal and anger his love for him never deteriorated.

So when he had stayed up until midnight waiting for his hyung to arrive safely from his date with Jaehyun hyung.

It is the moment that made Bomin realize he will never have the older, in any lifetime, no matter how many times his heart desired for more so selfishly it shook him to his very core! He would never be the one that could make Kim Jibeom dizzy with delight or hum with content, it would never be Choi Bomin!

" Bomin-ah I am going to ask Jaehyun to move in, I-I-I think he is the one, is it crazy to think that Bong Jaehyun is my destiny?" Jibeom had never been filled with such radiance and energy.

Bomin almost want to cry but he knew that when he his love picked Kim Jibeom it was never a guarantee, the fates would never a line to that of the older and a part of him went numb.

"No hyung it isn't" Bomin put on the biggest smile he could muster in the saddest moment to ensure that Jibeom could go through with his ending.

When you love someone music will play, your head filled with silly love songs, your heart will beat with the name of his, your smile will shine with that of a thousand suns over, and your palms will sweat with anticipation of wondering if you will see him next!

For that person is Bong Jaehyun in Kim Jibeom's world.

For that person is Kim Jibeom in Choi Bomin's world which will be no more.

**_ -The End _ **


	3. Loving A Lie (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit out there for my comfort levels but I hope you all enjoy the update!

**_ Song: dOra maar- OnlyOneOf _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Jangjun: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Sungyoon is his muse, his light, and his masterpiece. He wanted to possess his form and beauty for eternity, even if they are long gone from this world and on to the next, even if centuries past he wanted his lover to be engraved forever. He is obsessed with the older male, no one could ever entice him the way Sungyoon can, it was like a game to him and Jangjun would give into the bunny like man every time without complaint or fight.

The lights flash and the camera shutters, it is the way he falls in love with the idea of the older, as he hears the younger call out and praise him with every move, he falls in love with the attention from the younger male. They both have an unrealistic idea of what they mean to one another or how they fit into one another's lives and if what they hold in their hearts to be real.

What are they beyond the superficial desire?

Can this part of their reality last forever?

Is this all but a fantasy?

They share their bodies to the glowing moonlight, as they leave their musing senses behind as they explore each other's beings in the purest and intimate forms, it is in these moments of vulnerability they can be honest and raw.

Their love is not of love but of lust, it isn't out of a caring spirit but a deep and wanting desire that needs to be extinguished from within and they did just that for one another.

"You feel so good." Jangjun takes the older mewling man without remorse.

"Don't stop!" Sungyoon is enticed by the way his lover is generous yet aggressive.

He races ahead, he hammers into his subject, his art, his masterpiece grabbing his camera off the nightstand, he captures every taunt and moan through his lens and the way Sungyoon eyes roll back in delight.

Jangjun couldn't let these moments slip even if he is deep into his lover's caverns, he wanted to engrave the beautiful brunette in black and white. He slowly pulls out of the weeping man as he sits on the ball of hit feet creating distance between the two, he wraps his calloused yet delicate fingers around sungyoon's muscular thighs around his lithe waist.

He eases back in his thrust allowing his lover to collect his sense. He captures every fading cherry red bruises and softening prettiest peach color fresh dents, it makes him delirious with desire to keep capturing and framing.

Sungyoon forcefully moved the camera from the younger's attention, he wanted Jangjun to take him and taste him as well as wanting the strong blonde to keep praising him. "So impatient you are."

Jangjun rams into the bundle of nerves that has bundled up inside and coming undone just so easily and he loved every moment of it. "Art happens in the moment so does sex and I am not very happy to be ignored for your camera."

He buckles his feet behind the oblivious man's ass and pulls him into his sensitive hole and without missing a beat turns them around and now he takes control of the sensual air. He is stimulated from have the younger impaled deeper, it makes his spine arch and his toes curl in delight!

"You are so impatient love." Jangjun loved the feeling of being controlled he like the power balance they share.

"Only when I see fit and this is my time isn't it?" Sungyoon tugged the younger's messy locks moving his head up to meet his and they share a spine-tingling kiss.

They both have a dark hunger that needs to be sedated and they found it in one another, it is perfect, they hold no commitment to one another outside but inside things get a bit rough and possessive as they created an odd bond between each other.

They waste the night chasing their deepest pleasure trying to satisfy a need that they could not find in their own lives or sexual encounters, it is a little bit more than just the vanilla stuff but a bit more along the lines of dominate and submissive, it is the feeling that keeps them running back for more where they understand each other on an intimate level but nothing more.

They will never truly love each other on a deeper level but they don't want to face that certain reality that this isn't love that they are pressuring. Their lust is what drives their relationship further than need be but they would like to think they know one another better but they are merely strangers that share a similar taste for blood and gore and that is why the run to one another.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for just reading, it means a lot and I appreciate y'all, every single last one of you and thank you to NekoJ and Manahil571 that commented and SpiritOfYuniverse, Manahil571, NekoJ, and sungyoonah as well as 7 guests that kudos my story!😭😭😭❤💕❤🥰🤧😘


	4. Still Into You (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:I tried a happy story ending and I think I did well? Anyways enjoy!

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**_ Song: Still Into You- Paramore _ **

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**_ Jibeom: _ ** **_ (Don't mind Jangjun in the photo.... both of them look so handsome  _ ** 🥺😭💕 **_ ) _ **

  
  


  
  


**_ Jaehyun: _ **

_**3rd Persons P.O.V:** _

Relationships are tricky and messy; they often lead to happiness or the road most often taken; heart break. Kim Jibeom and Bong Jaehyun's situation is no different, they had their arguments and makes up, they have had their fair share of fighting words and wounds to mend, and they aren't complete saints nor sinners.

They have had times were they often question the existence of their relationship and why they are together anyways.

Love was an easy game to play, it was easier to deal and shuffle, a little small talk and tip toeing in the dark but when push comes to shove it was more complex. The nature of their feelings always called their bluffs even at their most vulnerable state it has never been called into question even when others saw the flaws and explosions.

Even at three a.m. and Jibeom is passed out on the couch waiting for Jaehyun to come home, it was heartwarming sight, but he didn't deserve a man like Kim Jibeom.

The love of his life, it was always him waiting for Jaehyun to see it- never once did the same age male ever make him feel like he was inadequate or short of halfway there.

Jibeom always gave his all to their relationship and time, almost like a business investment, relationships are like business, you have to give it time put in the hours and hard work in order to flourish and succeed.

Jaehyun still had long ways to go, he would always feel as though he would never measure up or amount to the love Kim Jibeom had always given and shown him.

So, he tried to repair and replace parts of himself that would seem enough or up-to-par even if in his mind there will always be something to fix about himself to be able to be Jibeom's perfect half.

He thought to himself that his boyfriend deserves just that! A love that would make up for the things he could not change about himself or the situation they are in, it would always slither in the back of Jaehyun's head at the wee hours of the lurking night.

So even then he could not escape the skull bashing thoughts of how he could become a better partner cuz Jibeom is the dream guy, Jaehyun stuck the lottery when his lover agreed to go out with him.

Jibeom could have anyone he wants, it was out of the question, people lined up to confess their deepest hearts desires of making Kim Jibeom theirs! It was crazy to Bong jaehyun how the other ever choose him, but he did.

He didn't deserve the other male.

Not a chance!

He shouldn't even get to share the same sentence, no less utter of his name fall out of Kim Jibeom's lips!

The older of the two is a coward when it comes to love, it was easier to manipulate the structure and fault lines but to be open, pure and raw, without the illusions it was harder than he thought it would be.

He wanted to hide from it all.

He was simply not ready for love or to be loved!

Yet the younger had the patience and the heart to take in all his broken and misplaced parts, every single last mix-and-match that no one could probably shuffle and look through, yet his boyfriend saw him.

It was no doubt, without a second look, or a stutter in his speech that his lover is the one in his silly and chaotic heart that refuse to see that he can be the one in someone else's like the kind and caring boyfriend.

Even when Jibeom teases him and makes him dizzy with anger, it was only the red head in his mind and love and he didn't want anyone else and nobody could ever be his first and last love and he didn't want somebody else.

"Jibeom-ah wake up." He lightly pushes on the sleeping male's shoulder.

He pressed on even with a tiny snore of a response. "Jibeom-ah!!!"

Still nothing but silence and tiny snores to reassure him that his lover is indeed still alive.

He swore silently to himself, thinking: if his frog like boyfriend didn't get up from that old disgusting faded couch, he would smash pans together creating a disruption in the silent night.

"Kim Jibeom-ah, I swear if you don't get up, I will leave you on the couch." He grumbles and swipes his bang to the side of his face.

"Thank god you are home." Jibeom yawns and outstretches his aching bones as they pop in place after sleeping on the tiny couch.

He felt bad seeing his boyfriend like this, it brought a sour taste to his mouth, the underlining guilt is worming in his mind and laying there to simmer in his heart as he tries to come up with a way to say sorry but no words left his gaped lips.

Now at eye level "I am sorry about our fight Jaehyun." Jibeom looked like a kicked puppy with his sleepy eyes.

He had no reason to be sorry when the older ran first, it was him that should be sorry, Jibeom wanted to work things out but Jaehyun only knew how to sprint when the challenge presented itself.

"Jibeom why?" He just didn't know what to say.

It always fazed him when the younger never threw verbal punches or gave him the cold shoulder, it amazed Jaehyun how Jibeom could be, he truly didn't deserve the younger male.

"You were right, I should have left well enough be, but I love you and I hate when you look so hesitant or unsure." He wanted his lover to take every opportunity that is presented even if it means leaving him behind.

"You will do amazing things and I hate when you down on yourself and your skills Jaehyun!" Jibeom always felt the need to remind him how just amazing the baritone male is.

"You should take the promotion!" He knows he would bring some fresh ideas and perspectives to the company board.

"Jibeom, I won't be an-" Jaehyun had stressed over on multiple occasions on how much of a shitty choice his company made by giving him the promotion and not Jibeom.

"I swear to whoever is up there, if you say something unkind about yourself again, I will lose it!" Jibeom knew that his boyfriend held limitless talent in his shy demeanor.

Jaehyun always felt good when Jibeom fought for him even if it was against himself, it brought a tiny grin to his soft features and made him feel better for a while even if at times he didn't believe his boyfriend.

"Now, tomorrow go in and talk to manager-nim and tell him yes!" Jibeom voice raspy and murky.

"Thank you Ji and I am sorry for starting the fight... I-I said things I didn't mean and I feel bad cuz Jibeom, you never stop fighting or caring for me even when I say harsh sentiments." Jaehyun felt like such a dick for throwing words so carelessly.

"I am not mad or hurt, just please don't run off like that again." Jibeom brings the blonde into a solemn heartfelt kiss.

"You are my better half." Jaehyun breathlessly whispers.

"Never stop loving me." Jibeom attaches his chapped lips to his lover's plum and bruised ones.

"No matter how many times I push you away, I will always want you!" Jaehyun knew one day Jibeom would be tired of his push and pull games and he hope that would never come.

"Even if I keep pushing please never look for anyone else or leave." Jibeom knew that one day Jaehyun might get tired of his prying and fusing that he might leave him and never return.

"You are an idiot, even after all this time, Kim Jibeom, I'm still into you." Jaehyun couldn't imagine a life without Kim Jibeom.

"That is all I want to hear." Jibeom brought the older in for another kiss.

****_ -The End _ ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not good with happy stories most often, but I hope you like it!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	5. All I Need Is You (Daeyeol/Bomin)

**_ Song: All I Need Is You- Jeong Jinwoon _ **

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**_ Daeyeol:  _ **

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**_ Bomin: _ **

****_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ ** **

"I know I am the last person you want to see Bomin!" Daeyeol placed his foot into the crook of the closing door.

"You don't say!" He pretends to be shocked.

Daeyeol deserved the snide remarked and could not complain given of how much of an asshole he made of himself earlier to the younger and his friend. Who is just that a friend, yet to the older male he felt challenged by her calming presence.

He hated that ugly green blob of emotions that fester and stew in the back of his mind like day old shrimp that lays uncapped in the back of his refrigerator creating an ungodly smell! He wanted to never show that undesirable side of himself to his sweet boyfriend who never once showed such animosity to his ex-boyfriend and now best friend Sungyoon.

"Please let me explain." He keeps a firm hold on the side of the door as Bomin puts a little bit of pressure.

"What is there to explain hyung?!" Bomin felt offended by the older's actions that he displayed earlier today.

"I am sorry to Yeeun and mostly to you, I was very out of line and should have acted with thought and consciousness but instead I acted rash and like a five year old who got his toy taken away." Daeyeol holds his head in complete and utter shame.

Bomin sighs but allows him to go. "You were a complete dick to her after I told her you are a kind and amazing person you are!" He rubs his temple in fit of annoyed.

"This is out of character for you hyung." Bomin wondered what brought on this side of his kind-hearted lover.

"I didn't mean it." The brunette was a loss for words on how to rectify the situation and to make things better.

"Please just let me come in cuz your neighbor is being noisy again." He whispers looking where the orange head male is sitting directly in eye and ear shot reading his book up-side down trying to look inconspicuous.

"Don't mind me." Joochan tried to look innocent sipping on his bitter cold brew.

"Fine, come in and I am giving you eight minutes to explain whatever the fuck that was!" Bomin moves aside allowing the older to move through the threshold.

"Thank you." Daeyeol unties his shoes and steps out one foot at a time not wanting to walk inside the younger's apartment in dirty shoes.

"Do you want water?" Bomin might be mad but he is not an ungracious host.

"No thank you." Daeyeol stands in the entrance way timidly not knowing how to go about the situation.

Bomin just leaves the older to his own devices as he walks to the entrance of the living room and into the kitchen grabbing himself a can of soda. He didn't bother trying to hide his annoyance or displeasure of having to deal with his boyfriend's weird mood swings today.

Daeyeol followed through as he takes in deep breathes trying to calm his heartbeat and clear his mind looking for the right things to say. How fucked he is right at this very moment as the tension is thick you need a machete to find your way through, it is a forest of emotions, the most defining one is rage.

He knew that this was not going to be smoothed over by a cheesy speech and a sad excuse of an apology, it is more than that, Lee Daeyeol truly done it! He crossed a fine line of what the fuck and Bomin was not going to tolerate this type of behavior from his boyfriend.

He didn't need to be accused or put under microscope!

He knew what and who is in his heart and it is just absurd that the older would question his loyalty off the bat without giving him a good response. Daeyeol just skipped to the kill and that is what hurts the most is that his hyung had little to no faith in him and that basically called into question their relationship and what does that leave them?

He didn't deserve that kind of treatment from Daeyeol, he is not afraid to show his discontent with the actions that were set into motion today and now the older must take responsibility of his stupidity!

"I will kick you out." Bomin sipped on the cold beverage with disinterest.

"I fucked up big time and I have no idea why I got so offensive and possessive of you Bomin-ah and I acted like a child." He is recalling the events and how he got to that point.

"I felt threatened by her and how perfect you guys look together... almost like the perfect couple and all those ugly and mean thoughts just pulled me under and I become numb, it is unexplainable but I just thought how pathetic I am!" He languidly ran his fingers through his messy hair.

Bomin refuse to interrupt the older’s explanation just adding a director’s cut inside his mind of how much his love is a "fool.” and "why would he ever think that!"

"I know I can be old fashion and we have a age gap but when I imagine love, your laugh popped into my head or how you pretend to like my awful jokes, how you get so scared easily but never waver, or how your smile reminds me of freshly baked bread and how you can easily share your emotions." Daeyeol spoke sweetly and his heart drummed against his chest with vigor.

"I am unbelievably jealous, and I hate it!" His facial morphing into relentless guilt and shame.

"I know me coming here was a bad idea and I should give you space, but I couldn't leave with a peaceful heart and hope to god this would blow over." Bomim deserved more than a half-ass boyfriend.

"I love you!" Daeyeol made the first move.

Bomin took in a sharp gasp and short circuit as the older just said the one word they had tiptoed around. They have been dating for eight months and neither one dared to cross the line into foreign territory.

"What did you say?" His jaw unhinges from a scowl to a wtf!

"Choi Bomin, I know this doesn't make up for my poor behavior but I love you and that is why I acted that way and I know that is no ex-" He felt fireworks light up his heart and firecrackers set off in his stomach.

Their lips connect into frenzy kiss and no moment later the older responded back to his boyfriend's actions.

He tastes magic on the brim of his tongue and like Christmas lights lite up in his mind with the way Bomin attacked his lips.

"Yeeun is like my sister, you are an idiot hyung but you are my idiot, and this is not a forgiven kiss but I love you too." He looks to the ground shyly still hugging the older close.

"I will work my way to forgiveness my love and I am truly sorry for what I did and whatever I have to do to make up for this shit show of mine... I will." He didn't want the younger to be mad at him anymore or feel disappointed.

"I will think about what you can do but you should apologize to her as well and not just me cuz now she hates you!" He chuckles at the thought of his best friend calling his boyfriend a crazy bastard and that Bomin deserves a good christian boy.

"I am so ashamed of what I did and especially towards her who has done nothing and I have no excuse nor should I use my love as an excuse for lashing out and acting cruel to her and I seriously dislike that part of me." It made him crawl out of his own skin and mind!

He hung his head in shame and anger as he thought about his actions and in no way should this explanation be a form of justification of his actions cuz he is a dick. He promised Bomin he would make the graceful female like him, but he fucked that up, it was awful, a shit storm of emotions and he probably never return to the corner Starbucks on 42nd street ever!

"I am glad you see your mistakes but seriously hyung, I love you too, all I need is you and yes I did have a crush on her at one point but it never went far." He hooks his index finger under the older’s chin to meet his own earthly hues.

"In reality, I feel like I should be jealous cuz you and your ex-boyfriend-now best friend- are still going out and talking and doing all these things together and I have no reason to distrust you o-or do I need to?" He remarks jokingly.

"Never Bomin-ah! Plus, he already started dating someone, so even if I wanted to it would be hard and especially there is this little brat that loves me, and I can't disapp---"

"Ahh, I am sorry!" The younger pulls on his side burn making the other man squeal and flinch in pain making Bomin chuckle and break out in a cheshire grin.

"You are the little brat you might as well should call me hyung." He kisses the afflicted side burn.

"I don't deserve you." Daeyeol pulled him closer; chest to chest and no space just in the middle of the living room and it is everything.

"I love you Daeyeol." Those silly words brought on a whirl-wind of flurry thoughts and fantasies of a forever.

"I love you too and I promise to not do this again." He truly meant those words that he would never be that type of guy ever!

"I know." He pecks the older's delicate lips.

"Do you still wanna go to the movies like we planned or am I going alone still?" He wanted to treat Bomin out and make up in many ways for what he did.

"I suppose if you are buying everything?" He raises his left eyebrow.

"Yes!" He lays his head down on the younger's shoulder with a content hum.

"Okay and I am leaving my wallet to keep you to your word." He smirks as the older nodded his head.

He didn't need the perfect partner or the one that would seem to match well with him cuz there is Lee Daeyeol and the most imperfect parts of him is why he loves him and for the good and the bed Choi Bomin would never turn him away or want anyone else.

"I love you." He hums in content.

****_ -The End _ ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For you Daeyeol and Bomin shippers I finally gave them a happy ending! But I am cynic and might make another sad update for them or not gotta see where my brain goes.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	6. Die For Something Beautiful (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoy!

**__ **

**__ **

**__ **

**_ Song: Die for something Beautiful- Palaye Royale  _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

  
  
**_ Jangjun: _ **

  
  
  
  
**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ **

"Do it Sungyoon, kill me and I wouldn't fight you." The young mafia leader holds out the gun to the older lover.

"Take what you truly desire and go!" If he truly believes that this would make him happy so be it.

If the older didn't do it now, if he backed out, Jangjun would never let him leave his side ever again. Never, in a million years would Jangjun succumb or bow down to anyone no matter who.

He is a powerful mafia leader of South Korea, nobody, and he means nobody could ever challenge or take what is his!

Except his Achilles heal; Choi Sungyoon.

How he marveled and beg to obtain such a gem like his elusive lover, it was not about power or control but all he ever wanted in all of his thirty-one years of life is to have someone to fill the gaping void that sucked him whole and dry.

To the bitter end! He wanted nothing more than to have the older stay by his side and never question his intentions or love.

He never planned on falling in love-Choi Sungyoon is an enigma to the young clan leader- he wanted to use and abuse him for the yearning nights and wasting days. He never wanted personal bonds with the older, only superficial kind, didn't want things to get too messy when the inevitable would happen.

The older is only there to satisfy a raging ego, only to temporarily sedate the symptoms but not to relieve the illness, Sungyoon had found a cozy camp spot in his heart and claimed land.

So, when he found out that his lover is placed in his clan-not by fate or preconceived notion- Jangjun felt his heart become two sizes too small and wanted nothing more than to fade away. He was willing to burn down empires and flood cities if it meant seeing the other smile just for him!

"You win!" Jangjun is ready to give his life.

He shoved the gun in Sungyoon's clammy hands trusting the older would be swift and just killing him. He is bested by the one person he would never suspect to betray him, but he deserved it.

He is a tyrant and a total thorn in everyone’s side, but he knew how to do his job with precision and tact, he is a deadly man with no mercy! People fear him-never bothered wanting love and respect- so in turn he gained control and unwavering loyalty out of preservation.

Team up with the winning side, right?

He went by many names, one of the famous name being the reaper in the underworld and many wanted to be in his clan. By the time he was twenty-two years old he took control of his father’s technology corporation and his biggest trade and exports opened many doors for him to take over. Jangjun made his way up in the underworld of crime, weapons, and drug exportation as the top leader by twenty-seven.

Sungyoon truly challenged him in every way possible, he loves the chase, it kept him feeling energized and young. He gave his life to his business and clan so when the rabbit like man was presented to him, it struck a hymn in his mind and he wanted to figure out what the melody meant but could never understand its origins.

"I could give you everything at a snap of a finger, it would be yours for the taking but I was not a part of your plan either." Jangjun was to selfish and blinded by his hunger for the world he didn't see the mole.

Sungyoon stuck at every opportunity he saw fit and made sure to point all signs away from him creating a witch hunt among the ranks, creating paranoia and doubt in the young heart of the clan leader and it worked at every turn.

"All I want to know is why?" Not everyone gets to have closure but if the older respected the "love" they shared he would at least give him that peace of mind.

"I am sorry Jangjun, you have to believ-" A thunderous crack struck the silent air.

"I asked you why!" Jangjun didn't want any more lies.

The younger looked disheveled and tired, all those years catching up to him and Sungyoon felt guilty for what he has done but he had to. He needs Jangjun to pay for his father's mistakes and when the case was present at his unit, he took it.

"I-I am sorry for what I have to do but this is the only way that this can go, you could never give me what I truly need." Sungyoon truly love Jangjun but what happen to his father and mother... he needed to do this.

"You are your father's pride and joy, this kingdom you built is his pride and his showboat, but I plan to take that away from him like he took my parents away from me." He had to be strong, but his feelings have clouded his judgment severely.

He had to do this, and no one would blame him or question him as to why he killed the leader of the most dangerous clan in Seoul, he would be a god and a savior in everyones eyes and nobody would question him. He didn't care for the fame and glory but retribution for what the Lee family did to him and his little brother Bomin.

"Then do it." Jangjun had only love two things in this world glory and power and he only love one person that beat those superficial greed and that is; Choi Sungyoon and he would continue to do so even far from this world.

"All my life... all I ever wanted to be was enough for my father but that didn't satisfy me once I obtained that goal, it became worthless and childish but when you came in and knocked me on my face. I found something worth the chase and hunger, it was the only thing I ever wanted and no matter how much money I made or how many dead bodies that sailed down the river it was no comparison to the fire that lamented in me when you called my name and I am putty in your hands." Jangjun looked back fondly on their moments shared in his heart.

"I wanted to be good but whatever I did, it was meet by a tender pressed smile and false hope but I believed in a fallacy cuz it lead me to your hear but you will never truly be mine and to know that you rather watch me die, it already makes me feel dead." If Jangjun were to die at the hands of the enemy, he wouldn't mind if it was by his lover's hands.

"Die for something beautiful, I still and always will love you, it is sick, right?" He wipes his tired eyes and with a sigh he is prepared.

Sungyoon couldn't look into the eyes of a fallen angel and it hurt him, this pain that messes with his soul, it became a part of him and he wanted blood but Jangjun was only a product of the older Lee's horror and nightmares. At some point he didn't want to kill the head of the Lee clan anymore but save him too but the lies caught up to him and left his little brother in the hospital and that was his price of weakness.

"I wish things could have been different and we weren't the people we are now, we could have made it and have a future." Sungyoon pulls back the tears and prays to whatever god above that this would be quick and swift.

"It’s okay Sungyoonie hyung, I will be okay hyung everything will be okay." He graces the older with his boyish grin.

"For so long I hated your family for what happened, but I realized what a lie your family put on and I am sorry what happened to you." He realized that Jangjun was born from hell fire and faithlessness, that the scares he wore, he wore them pride!

"Don't worry about me anymore I wil-" The bang resounded in the bedroom causing the crash and the thud against the hard wood maple floor.

He lets out the baited breath and waits for the shock to set in, he stands their breathless, he watches the younger male slowly bleed out.

"Forgive me Jangjun." He lets out a nerve wrecking sob as he sits beside his dying lover's side.

The shine in his eyes dim with each passing second and the detective holds his hand kissing his knuckles as tears taint his pale skin.

"I am sorry." The adrenaline still flowing through his veins and denial swims through his mind.

He has killed before in the line of duty but no one could prepare him to kill the person he grown to love and adore, he pleaded in the back of his mind for Jangjun to live but he just sat in the noise of the entropy that broke out in his head.

"I am sorry." This revenge wasn't enough and with one last breathe he turns the barrel against his head and fires at will.

But nothing happens, he pulls back the trigger and still nothing and the sobs begin to increase in volume as Youngtaek, the second hand man to the clan leader, bangs on the door.

He just sits there, and he feels a piece of him die along with Jangjun.

****_ -The End _ ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I appreciate you all for just reading and just makes me happy to see people comment and kudos, it really makes me happy. So thank you all!💕💕💕
> 
> -Andrea Yanez


	7. Song For Jaehyun (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: !!!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! Talks about self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and domestic abuse/violence also emotional and verbal abuse... This a potrayal and in no way do I think they are like this in real life! 

**_ Song: Song For Isabelle- Pierce The Veil  _ **

**_ Jibeom:   
  
_ **

**_ Jaehyun: _ **

****_ A/N: !!!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! Talks about self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and domestic abuse/violence also emotional and verbal abuse... This a potrayal and in no way do I think they are like this in real life!  _ ** **

****_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ ** **

They looked out into the dying light and wonders how the next ten years of their life would be but Jibeom already knew.

"It is beautiful." Jaehyun allowed the silence to wrap his tired form and his shoulders untense.

"Yeah, it is." Jibeom looked at the brunette in awe and his heartaches.

The bruises still linger but you would have to point a microscope to see past the optimistic smile the older possessed. He wanted to take away his pain and remind him that he is worth it, that his father had no right to treat his own son that way.

How incompetent the drunkard is, Jaehyun does everything for his old bastard and he still takes the sharp remarks and brutal fist and all the brunette does is nothing but brush it off and laughs. 

He hated how the older’s father called him such derogative names and blames him for the loss of his wife- it sicken him how he would berate and scream such curses to the older saying he is better off dead than alive to him. How could his father say or do that to his own flesh and blood?

He couldn't imagine a life without Bong Jaehyun in it, how the songbirds would weep and how the butterflies would lose flight and the natural balance of order would tip creating a frenzy of madness.

This life was not meant for one as beautiful as Bong Jaehyun!

All it did was shit on him and laugh but the same age male smiled no matter what, it made Jibeom sick, he should rage and scream bloody murder, but the tender soul is not a fighter.

He is brought back to the world of the living when he could feel the older shake uncontrollably and all Jibeom could do was chuckle to himself quietly and unravel himself to bring the other comfort.

He wiggly out of his hoodie gently, his arms ached from the cherry wine lines that mar his wrist and litter his arms and slowly the ugly scars adorned his pale skin as he watches old ones fade out and new ones fade in and there is nothing left he could give.

He feels the polyester rub annoyingly against his skin as he pulls his hoodie off and puts it on Jaehyun's shivering form. His mind reeling from the last encounter with the knife that is tucked under his pillow.

He remembers the way it soothed his worries and kissed his skin and all those nasty thoughts and taunting laughter would subdue. He couldn't swim without his life preserver or else he would sink each time back into the deep.

"Kim Jibeom, you are the only thing good that is left in this world." His husky voice below a whisper.

"I wouldn't think that, but you make me feel good." Jibeom retorts shyly as he wraps his exposed arms around his waist- happy that Jaehyun is no longer shivering from the bone chilling Seoul night.

"You are my angel and so in turn you are good by heart and nature even if you can't see it." They sit on the edge of the rooftop of their apartment complex and Jibeom wonders what it would like to hit the pavement.

The older had no idea how lucky Jibeom feels to have Jaehyun by his side- it was by some luck or grace of a higher being they found one another in their darkest hours and now they didn't have to walk through the nightmare alone.

"You shouldn't give me such praises Bongvely." He felt sick at the thought, he wasn't good person and he wished the lithe male would see him for what he is, a walking tragedy!

How this would come to haunt him in the later hours of the witching night and turn the older against him in his dream land, it would get the upper hand and feast on his paranoia and fear as all he could do was lie before the creature as they feast on him.

"You are my home." Jaehyun gently lays his head on his left shoulder and he relishes in the connection of warmth.

He wishes he could stay by his side forever and protect the older from all those devils that only wish to do him harm, how he would slay them down, he would watch himself burn so Jaehyun didn't have to do it on his own.

He could tell the male was getting skinner and he despised it, how less Jaehyun started to look of himself and how afraid he was to touch the older, thinking he would break at the slightest movement and it terrified him. How the brunette father was not a good man and how he, the crook, got off on watching his son wither and beg for mercy.

How sick and deprived Jaehyun's father is, and he paid it in weekly beatings and merciless humiliation and self-loathing. Jibeom would leave his window open so the same age male would escape to his arms and they wouldn't have to face the danger on their own.

He wanted nothing more than to take the pain and suffering away from the other- drive the getaway car and go far from this life! Yet, he couldn't even defeat his own dastardly creatures that compromises his being.

He watched the world in slow-motion and wonders if there will ever be his time in the sunshine-it was only dark storms brewing and he needed to know if someday would ever be his!

"I love you Bong Jaehyun." He meant every word even if the older didn't believe him or return those intense feelings.

He would always be with him.

In one year, time he wouldn't be here to protect his best friend from those animals, he wishes forever, but he isn't a kid anymore and this life started to slowly suffocate him. He doesn't know if he would see the flowers in bloom or the songbirds sing this time next- this life has become all too much for his aching soul.

How he wished to be a kid again- before the accident and the attempts, when he still had his life and youth and not these rain clouds and failing body that is on borrowed time.

How life seems all but a fairytale, it was his only viable choice in order to escape the thoughts in his head- how vicious they work and shameless their tactics to bring Jibeom to his knees begging for the rope.

"Promise me that you will never leave." Jaehyun voice held insecurities and worry.

"I would never leave you!" Jaehyun would always have his heart until the very end.

They watched as day turned into night and they felt home just beyond their spring breeze and Jibeom would make these passing months count because Bong Jaehyun deserve only the best!

How his heart burned with regret for leaving him, but the older will understand why he had to go.

This is the only way and Jibeom would take it… nothing could stop him from meeting his fate, not even Bong Jaehyun.

****_ -The End _ ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These are very sensitive topics and I am sorry if I caused anyone pain as I know bringing up these topics are not easy. Please know you are worth so much more if you or anyone you know is expierencing any of these topics I covered. 
> 
> If you know someone going through these things do not ignore the signs or push them away... you could be saving their lives in ways you could not imagine or just be there for them. Life is so cruel already, it is hell that one could never imagine or carry. 
> 
> Remember to always be kind and patient. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	8. Love Songs Drug Songs (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is something I put together cuz I have had major writer's block and so this is what came out of my forced freedom of the terrible block and I am not always great with my writing and I will continue to do better thank you everyone and hope you enjoy!

**__ **

**__ **

**_ Song: Love Songs Drug Songs- X Ambassadors _ **

**_ Jibeom: _ **

**_ Jaehyun: (This Jaehyun but blonde... fite me, blonde Jaehyun is superior!) _ **

  
**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ **

The night is bold in crest fallen stars and dim lit moonlight, it is the high that makes falling seem like child's play and so they keep huffing and puffing till they drop.

A sonnet of white lines and black tar smudges as he become slaves to this reality- as the smoke cages his lungs and his mind filled with silent charters of paranoia, he loves the constriction as he coughs up another round.

How sweet the sin taste on his lips, it is the fine thin lines that make passage through his airwaves and bringing him home. Guts and glory, it feels like he has become born again as the bonds of time have vanished and unseeded and he is not afraid of his mortality.

He needed to untether himself from his constant need for perfection and beauty and how he will always be short of that, how he hasn't even made it to the starting line still trying to find parking but always missing the turn.

"You always amaze me Bong Jaehyun." The brunette coughs up a lung.

"I seem to be doing enough of that lately." He props himself up against the car door as he turns to the driver seat.

"Sometimes you have to fall apart to remember what you are made of, it isn't easy being you and so many people think you have the perfect family, house, boyfriend, and life but it is all one huge sham." All of it is bullshit and Kim Jibeom knew it!

"You always seem to know it all don't you?" Jaehyun points back sarcastically but still questioning how he could see through him.

"I try." He allows the rush to hit his system and open his mind to the other side as he lays back his seat and props his elbow behind his head.

"Where does Jangjun think you are?" Jibeom points out the obvious lies that build up in the blonde's vault.

"He thinks I am at home studying." He had so many secretes it was nice to have someone to see him.

"If your parents think you are with him and you are at home studying... it would backfire if they ever find out... you need to start making new alibies or else they will find out your hanging out with trash like me. Then what will they think of their sweet innocent Bongvely." He chuckles thinking of how the older is anything but innocent and pure.

"Luckily, they trust me and my boyfriend... never say that Ji cuz you aren't." Jaehyun hated when the other male would say such things about himself.

"My regards princess." Jibeom tried not to let his words get the better of him cuz he knows what he is and nobody could tell him differently, not even Jaehyun who looked at him like he put up the stars in the night sky.

"No Jibeom! I am serious, never in a million years would you be trash, you do what you need to do to survive and that doesn't make you trash or anything with negative connotations." He might be fucked up right now, but he knew in his heart despite everything that Jibeom is a good person.

The younger just sits there in his own uncomforting and wonders why the blonde cares so much? All they did together was on occasions study together, hang out a bit, and mainly getting high and doing some other things that Jaehyun shouldn't be doing.

"Thanks umm... it is getting late I should get you home or something." Jibeom couldn't stand the blooming feeling in his chest as he pulls his chair back up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, thank you for being here and just listening as always and I like y- that we can do this and I am just gonna-" His words covered by the younger's rosy lips and he can't help but reciprocate the action.

Famished, it felt like he was starved for days and the only thing he wanted was for Jaehyun to be quite and kiss him like they have done many times in the quietest of moments. All he knew how to do besides ignoring his feelings is fake it till you make it and fucking, he wraps gentle finger around blonde strands pushing the lithe male forward and into his warmth.

He couldn't handle his big feelings for Jaehyun and at times he would like to think it is the high that makes him attracted to the small male and that lust is contributor to their affair, it went beyond the leather seats and bed sheets, and so he pretended that this would be enough. That thought of Jaehyun and Jangjun didn't make his blood boil or want to throw fists at the older college student and so he keeps those dark thoughts to himself and it still does nothing but make him yearn for Bong Jaehyun!

How silly?

Jaehyun could never love him!

He only serves as a distraction in the ever-perfect plan of Jaehyun's life and that is all he will ever be a passing memory in his long lines of his misadventures.

It is a bitter thought that seeps into his soul that creates a new shift in his demeanor and the way his lips attack him furry and passion and he doesn't want to be just another casualty! He hated Jangjun for having what he could never and so he takes Jaehyun in the back seat of his 1965 mustang and he relishes in the way Jaehyun's moans his name into the starlight and how generous and pliant, ready he is to take his love and give it in ten folds as Jibeom love to satisfy him in every sense of the word.

He isn't ready to return the beauty that is Bong Jaehyun back to this unforgiving world, it was never supposed to be love and some days he still questions his own intentions. Yet, he knows what's in his own heart but he is afraid, the cowardliness of his own being and how he fears the knife of rejection and so he is willing to put the fragile man back together in the best way he can.

How he is willing to stack himself up and allow the beautiful liar to knock him down just so they could be on that same level- the heart of it all, the love he wants could never be and so he does the best he can to not break. He takes the "love" Jaehyun gives and never asks for more than the other can give.

'I love you!' Jaehyun yells in the depth of misery too afraid Jibeom will deny him and so these words are silent mantras composed in his heart.

He can feels his vocal chords give way to the erosion of out of range pitches of moans and gritty groans and the younger praises him for being so beautiful and imperfect, it brings a warmth and glow to his withering form and all he wants to do is live cuz the only time he feels alive is when Jibeom touches him.

It sparks an ignition and he is ready to go but he knows that in the morning they are back to strangers and he will put on his porcelain doll smile and parade his life around like some glamorous reality shit show! He is tired, he knows the promises he made and the life he is meant to follow. The blue print made and the foundation already planted before him but he is too meticulous that he saw the cracks and crevices already forming and burrowing into the ground and he tries to fill in the pieces before they can become gaps and potholes.

That is where Kim Jibeom comes in and he will always give him passage into his body and mind and he knows that this is temporary, but he would keep these moments in his heart and never let them go.

Only if they met in another life.

Would things be different?

How silly could they be... just two kids, too young to know what is love and too dumb to see what they have done to one another and that they have left impressionable marks that will never fade.

So, they take what they can get and hope to god that they are not caught.

This would not end well and they know so they just keep breaking pieces of themselves to fit into each other's puzzle but their worlds are too different to mix the colors they have been painting but they try to find different shades to create a beautiful tragedy. The high is sometimes not worth the fall but they keep coming back to one another cuz the addiction is so sweet even sweeter than the black tar heroin that sugar coats their lungs or the cocaine that sparkles in their system.

They are a bad cocktail mix of adolescent problems and broken promises, but they manage to keep finding reasons to run back cuz this isn't love but the idea is more powerful than the reality of it. So, they keep meeting behind closed doors and forgotten roadways trying to piece back together their messed-up lives.

They will never find the peace they are looking for and especially not in one another.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the update! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	9. Lonely Broken People (Jangjun/Sungyoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this is very short but my mind has been all over the place so I decided to get back into the groove I would start small.

**__ **

**_ Song: Lonely Broken People- Rishi  _ **

**__ **

**_ Sungyoon & _ ** **_ Jangjun: _ **

**__ **

**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ **

Would this be enough? 

They had fallen, without parachutes, had they never learned. Did they just so carelessly give each other a reason to blindly follow one another down the rabbit hole. 

Too many empty words, they linger behind, as their mind and body deplete as they leave behind the world that made them dependent. The air that they breathe, and the colors that project, it is without thought that they suck the life out of each other's souls and rehabilitate with broken promises. 

So many discolored bruises and bumps that they indent in their memories, as they fade in and fade out, it mixes into an ivory lie. So raw and uncleaned, they have left their bodies for the ravages of time to cut clean.

Never knowing the monsters, they made out of one another, too many unanswered prayers and forgotten hopes as they become jaded by their confessions of a forever. 

Deciding to succumb to the comfort and familiarity, they never stop to think or rationalize, they full-blown steam ahead down the loop of routine. It is repetitive, the "I love you." as the two lovers start to tolerate the existence of the other. 

The stars no longer shine for their youth, as the sands of time crease and wrinkle their reflections with age, and their dwindling spirits remain, as they exhaust that kindling fire. That left nothing behind, not even a trace of ash or smoke. 

They are no longer home.

"I love you." Jangjun pulls the covers switching his bedside lamp off. 

"I love you too." Sungyoon mindlessly spoke such wasted lines. Allowing the night to carry him beyond the fabric and space of this reality. 

As they both yearn for a life beyond their sunset as they are strangers that happen to know every nook and cranny of each other's soul. They shared half a-life, and it is supposed to mean something more to the lost lovers, the familiarity starting to suffocate them, pushing them under without an escape route. 

So they sink.

**_ ~The End _ **

**__ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed the update! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	10. World Alone (Jangjun/Sungyoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with another update and I hope you all enjoyed this one!
> 
> UPDATE (10/31/2020): This ver of A World ALone is first written as a Toruka (Toru/Taka of ONE OK ROCK) and I accidentally left Toru name in the story but I corrected that mistake and he is the leader of the band and so I accidentally left that as well and so I changed it to Jangjun's position... the point is I fixed those two mistakes lol so sorry for that.

**__ **

**_ Song: A World Alone- LORDE  _ **

**__ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V _ **

"I love you." Those three words dancing on the tip of his tongue.

He caresses the man's tired features, as his chest rises and falls, with every minute passes in the silence of the aching night. Sungyoon is left with those silly thoughts floating freely in the back of his mind without a care. Without no one listening to him, he is thankful the younger is riddled with sleep and not among the living as he holds his secret in a clenched fist. And fake laughter as their friends and group mates earlier comments on how close they are lately.

While Jangjun, cheeks tinted cherry red and profusely denying their joking accusations as though it is something to be ashamed of. Sungyoon follows similar action, yet, inside, he is falling as the seams of fantasy are torn apart and resown with reality. It is a reminder that no matter what, Choi Sungyoon would never have Lee Jangjun's heart. He covers his crest-fallen smile with the pint glass of some foreign beer that rushes down his throat in one swig his lungs could take the pressure, and all their friends just whoop and cheer as he downs the content.

This is a drunk mistake, the bed and naked bodies, he shouldn't have kissed the blonde back. Nor should he have let the rapper so intimately devour him with every thrust and moan his mind is set ablaze with their dirty actions.

They are not together, never will be, he won't ever be his boyfriend, or get to be anything more than fuck buddies. People with time and needs, it is easier this way, to share a bed, it is less of a hassle and no scandal could get out if they just fucked around less of a mess and no one would know, it is perfect!

He promised not to allow the younger to use him again. This will end badly, it always does, and The vocalist never seems to learn that lesson he never will. He will always fall for the man that gave him something to live for, gave him hope, brought life back into his lungs, and made him want to do/be better. He can hold his head high with pride and victory rather than uncertainty and shame. 

Sometimes he wondered if his infatuation is admiration disguised as love? It always crossed his mind when he thought of the man in a more intimate-less friendly manner, and a part of him wishes that his heart could think before acting so recklessly. He made a choice, and now he must lay in this grave, he calls a bed, no one will mourn for him. Now he wouldn't let anyone give him kicked puppy stares or their half-ass condolences; he didn't need them!

Instead, as the sun does, he too will love the moon in silence and from afar. He only wanted was for Jangjun to call his name and to smile at him with the same tenderness and fondness he uses to greet him in their earlier times. Now the other is older, and there are new freckles and scars, there is a different alluring aura, and his demeanor is shifted.

He might have known him for almost a decade, but this world is ever-changing, and so are people. He may get things wrong and behave without thought, but the blonde never shut him out. Not like this? Why is it so hard to get into contact when he is sleeping next to him almost every night when they are coming down from the high of the fast lane life!

He didn't want to be another mistake to regret in the morning, he swallows his shame for breakfast and throws up his pride every time after. He never allows himself to forget that he is just another warm body. He is the afterthought to the long and aching days the rapper suffers through, but he doesn't mind even when his heart hurts so good because Lee Jangjun is the one.

How could he not?

"I love you," he whispers those forbidden words again into the mid-July breeze forgetting how to breathe.

He watches the younger turn away from his touch, yet he doesn't mind the sting of rejection. It is another Tuesday night, he wore his desperation like a second skin when no one is watching.

They are a train wreck, as he watches the tracks that lead to him set ablaze by unrequited love, it burns the brightest in the coldest of nights. When he can see beyond the glamour and rose gold lenses of love, and silly ideations of a possible yesterday, it peaks. Sungyoon knows never to bite more than he could chew. But he never learned how to listen, yet he took the risk and fallen without notice of the dangers that lay beneath him.

He risked it all for Lee Jangjun!

Yet, he knew the other could never give him that same respect as he is nothing more than his fellow group member, best friend, and fuck buddy, not his lover. With each stab of action, he didn't realize that Jangjun is slowly killing him. The person he loves is slowly killing him! It is clear as the dawn that will soon rise, if he kept loving him, he would not survive.

His lung's aching for release as he coughs up the prettiest peach color petals and Scarlette red substance into the palms of his hands for the fourth time today. He felt the piercing dread reach further into his chest and wrapping around his throat. It begins to suffocate him, just like the love he feels for him.

He would die loving Jangjun.

 _'I love you!'_ His breath stutters into folds of silent prayers as he could not utter those words without feeling the pleasure in the pain.

That will be his undoing! He runs his dainty fingers through his freshly dyed black hair, as the anxiety swallows him deeper into the sea of misery, his misery! As he stares at the sleeping male, he brings the four petals into view. He wonders how something so innocent and pure could become rotten and deadly?

He discards them on the hotel bedside table and swallows his shame. The vocalist turns back to his killer, his smile despondent as Jangjun unconsciously pulls him into his naked chest. Skin flushed, and his cheeks dusted baby pink as he wishes that the younger would mean it.

 _'I love you.'_ He draws in a shaky breath and hopes to god the pain that flutters like butterfly wings in his chest will subdue but, it never does.

He swallows the guilt and pain, as he does not wish to disturb the man that holds him close. He steals a glance at the male's softened features of the blonde. He soaks in every wrinkle and imperfection. Instead, he counts sheep to take him to their motherland of South Korea.

He feels homesick somedays, and especially this night, he masks his pain with excuses and calls it a night.

"I love you." He hears those words leave Jangjun's lungs but, he drowns out the noise, not wanting to know whose name belongs at the end of that sentence, which ex-lover does those words belong to? Whose heart does Lee Jangjun long for? Because he knows that it will never be him and so he takes it to the skies and dreams of being the answer but knows he does not fit into the man's equation, sometimes it is better to play pretend.

It is healing for the soul to not know the extent of the trauma, and so he allows sleep to bring him peace to the chaos he surrounds himself.

 _'I love you.'_ He would go through the pain for a moment in the sun.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it up to here thank you for reading! 
> 
> Again: 
> 
> UPDATE (10/31/2020): This ver of A World ALone is first written as a Toruka (Toru/Taka of ONE OK ROCK) and I accidentally left Toru name in the story but I corrected that mistake and he is the leader of the band and so I accidentally left that as well and so I changed it to Jangjun's position... the point is I fixed those two mistakes lol so sorry for that.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	11. Power (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoy this update and please note...
> 
> I DO NOT SUPPORT TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND NEVER WILL NOR BELIEVE IN ROMANTICIZING IT AS WELL!!!
> 
> TW: 
> 
> ABUSE: PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL 
> 
> TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The way I portray Jangjun and Y is not who they are... at least to my knowledge. I do not own Golden child nor them and this is all works of fiction and nothing more.

**_ Song- Power by Isak Danielson _ **

**_ Jangjun:  _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ **

The life they lead, the places they met, and the world they wanted to rule. How foolish could they have been not seeing the burning building that magically uprooted their passage and into the fast lane? How they become elusive and cold to the person they promised a forever with, it was just empty truths with hidden lies between the cracks filling it out.

So much time spent in the between and never the now, it never made sense to the hearts of the crossed lovers, but they never question the intent. A mind is a tool of absences and misplaced regrets. It is the moment they forgot the color of their lover's eyes, touch, name, and gentle touch of their lips colliding universes.

So simple as breathing, they forgot how to be human to one another. It is a power move. Between the two, swinging back forth like a pendulum, moving softly to the sounds of sirens and red flags that go off in the back of their minds, but to them, it is jazz music.

So ignorant, they are oblivious to the toxicity that reigns down their relationship. It is no longer about what both dreamed of and what planes they made together. It is either one's way or the highway. Yet, to Jangjun, it is always Sungyoon's way, and now the dynamic has become aggressive and unapproachable.

"You don't get to make me feel guilty!" Sungyoon hollers at the Jangjun's withering form.

He rolls his sleeves up to the elbows and unbuttons the top buttons of his dark blue dress shirt, his black slacks disheveled, and still wearing his slightly shined oxblood shoes. He heaves, and his nostrils flair out of annoyance, his tempter is rising to the boiling point, and a chuckle uproots from Jangjun as his lungs gasp for air.

He can taste cooper on the tip of his tongue, and his head rolls around, creating a cloudy haze effect in his view. "What the fuck is funny?"

Sungyoon is slowly losing his mind, it is the edge that keeps Jangjun in suspense, but still, he keeps teetering and playing where he is not supposed to. So he keeps fucking with Sungyoon's mind because it is amusing for him. How the older wacks him around and acts like he adores the younger in public, it is so fucked!

However, the hysterical blonde loves the pain and pleasure, didn't mind if Sungyoon had all the power over him. He relished in it and used it to his advantage, liked riling up the older. They are a match made in hell, no one would ever understand the way they live, and no one has to, Jangjun nor Sungyoon didn't ask anyone to, and so they lived accordingly.

"Noth-thing!" He clutched his bruised abdomen.

"It doesn't sound like nothing." He tries to keep his guard up, but the younger's laughter is infectious, and so he kicks him in the stomach again.

This power imbalance of shame and pride are blur lines creating misinterpretations and unforeseen doubt. However, the younger still stays in this fucked up catastrophe because the younger lover is just as fucked up as the raven-haired man.

"Look at me, please look at me." speaking softly, as he crouches down to the man's level sitting on his the back of his heels, and runs a gentle hand through the man's tossed locks.

The injured male spites blood on the wood floor, getting some on his gray muscle shirt. It is late Jangjun went out for his nightly run like he always does, waiting for Sungyoon to get back from the office. Sungyoon is thirty and works at a law firm, and Jangjun is twenty-six, working as a freelance writer. They are the picture-perfect couple, billboard worthy, and what a "functional" and "successful" relationship is supposed to look like to others.

He got back to the apartment later than expected, as he usually makes it back around eleven from his usual run time. It's nearly one in the morning, Sungyoon had lost his temper. He blows up the younger's phone with miscalls and unopen text, but Jangjun lost his phone on the run and had looked everywhere.

He didn't mean to make Sungyoon so upset and worried, yet, it was not a shock, the way the older lost it on him when he arrived back with no phone and a ticking-time-bomb lover.

It is almost three-forty-nine in the morning, and they have a grudge match in their living room! It is a warzone, but no matter what, they still went to bed in the mess they made, choosing to forget it ever happened once new dawn has saved face.

"Please, baby, look at me." Sungyoon hated hurting him, but Jangjun didn't know better.

Jangjun only knew now that the reason his cruel lover did the things he did- it is all in the name of love! Decorating him in hues of beautiful black and blue, with splashes of ugly green splotches, and those clean-cut words that pierce him with perception and guilt.

So, he takes it in ten-folds over and absorbs that "love" and makes art through his pain. It is in the way he longs and yearns for Sungyoon. Silently begging him to hurt Jangjun again, to use those hands around his throat like a necklace, and hides those discolorations of bruises with foundation, as a guilty pleasure because he likes the adrenaline.

He likes when the older tears him down with his malicious tongue, with spiteful and unshameful curses because it makes him feel wanted! He took the treatment that Sungyoon gave and misinterpreted for "love." Fearing the truth, that he is nothing more than a punching bag and ego boost to make up for Sungyoon's low-self-esteem and cowardice.

So he took it out on Jangjun, but he created a monster out of the younger!

One that thrived off the pain and did not understand anything else, whenever Sungyoon treated him with kindness or gentle-touch, Jangjun would think the older is upset.

Or whenever Sungyoon did something for him without asking for more sirens rang throughout his mind. He did not know anything beyond suffering, has been this way for five years out of their seven-year relationship.

In the two years, it was beautiful and messy, but they made-do. Something snapped within the older, causing the younger to worry and make excuses for the blood and anger.

"It's fine now... I am not mad anymore." He gently caresses the younger's freshly bruised cheek.

It stings, but Jangjun liked it a lot, and so he presses into the older's welcoming touch. "I am sorry, hyung, I didn't mean to cause you such grief." He should have come home instead of looking for that stupid phone.

"I love you, Sungyoonie, please let's go to bed." He couldn't take anymore beating, but if it made the older feel better; he would take it.

A part of him that was not blinded by the older's persuasions, whims, and charms begged Jangjun to go; to run away from this hell! He knew this wasn't love, but the majority that fallen and coercion into believing the facade and blocked out the "blasphemy."

A new part of him falls under, and sub comes to the agony mistaking it for affection. He feeds off the older's and manipulates and twists things in Sungyoon's head to get the high he needs. He is afraid of being alone, fearing that no one will ever care for him the way the black hair man does.

Jangjun desperately has to believe that what he does to himself is an act of love in a time of desperation. Because in the end, he knows nothing else, no one else, then these four walls and a kissing fist to the face that is given so lovingly by his lover.

"I love you too Jangjun, it is just a phone, and I should have realized it, but you are here now with me; safe and here." He brings the man into a gentle kiss even with a busted lip and ugly bruises, Sungyoon thinks Jangjun still looks beautiful.

Jangjun has to wonder to himself how far he or Sungyoon would go, to force themselves into a fallacy. All for the sake of not being alone! Whether that is love or utter stubborn pride insisting. That as long as they keep playing these acts up, they never have to be alone.

Because they understood that grotesque "truth," and no one could ever love something so repulsive and belligerent beings.

**_ -The End  _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again I hope you enjoyed this update and again:
> 
> I DO NOT SUPPORT TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND NEVER WILL NOR BELIEVE IN ROMANTICIZING IT AS WELL!!!


	12. Time (JJ/Y DY/Y)

_**Song- Time By NF** _

_**Jangjun:** _

__

_**Sungyoon:** _

_**No ones P.O.V:** _

"Would you ever let him go?" this foundation is crumbling beneath them.

"No..." Sungyoon sits down on the other side of the walk-in shower as the water falls over them. Both men are still fully clothed.

"Did you ever love me, or was I just time to waste?" Jangjun stares at the hole he made in the champagne color tile.

How could the firey redhead save the younger from his mistakes, wasn't on purpose didn't mean to string him along? Or even use his feelings, but along the way, the younger lover brought him comfort and safety.

The routine became so familiar in the one year, and nine months they spent playing pretend. It was nothing more than an act of defiance for Sungyoon. He didn't want to still be in love with a ghost! He didn't want to remember what love tasted like or how his skin raised at the thought of him! The mistakes and crumbs he left in Sungyoon's heart will never be wiped clean.

Instead, he didn't answer him at all. Still, he does not know his tribulations and trials to get away from the person he uses to be with Daeyeol and the person he should be now. The time spent in the past never moving forward, always looking for a reason to stay, never moving, time stood still.

He watches the world around him buzz with newborn joy, songbirds melodies, engines roaring from the depths of their beings, and the sun's unadulterated ecstasy. How could he not feel alive!

"I thought I let him go when he married her." He felt the twisting knife of remorse.

"I thought so too." Jangjun voice highers an octave as he tries to hold back the damn of emotions.

Sungyoon spent lifetimes over missing someone that will never remember him, not a single bit. He isn't even an afterthought, and no matter what, he will always love someone that is no longer there, and it kills him inside! He wants to move on and forgot the man who held his heart and gently broke it! The day he left him, Sungyoon soul abandon him along with the older man and never came back because he wanted a forever.

Foolish to make up excuses for the rueful grins and despondent chuckles, he found no hope in this home, but when he met the younger. He felt lighter, it was like this weight of loneliness cleared from his vision, and the sun seemed to shine brighter than the week spent cooped up in his office at work.

How he longed for the long winters in his mind to clear, but he knew that the time spent in his head; shall come again. Looking for residency without Jangjun to bring him shelter and comfort, and that part brought the dark skies and thunder clouds over his head like a nose around his neck.

"Is it foolish to still love someone who will never love you back?" Sungyoon absent-minded asks, not noticing the mournful gaze of the raven-haired male.

"No, it isn't." He felt the heartache clench tighter in his chest.

How sad could they be?

So in love but to never be had, it is hell, Sungyoon stuck in the past, and Jangjun stuck in the present, both never moving to the next. So they make it up in late-night dinners in silence and empty apologies as tho they believe that this is the answer to their resentful prayers.

Daeyeol will never come back, Sungyoon will keep waiting, and Jangjun is time to waste, at least for the time being, the younger knew that. Yet, still, he put himself through that pain and hatred because of the abundant love in his heart for the foolish man.

"He won't come back. will he." Sungyoon stated.

The wedding was beautiful, it was in the late-night, and the bride and the groom shined beautifully under the fairy lights on the magnificent beachside party on the shores of Busan. A memorial sight, seeing two people in love surrounded by family and friends.

"I shouldn't have pushed you hyung, and for that, I am sorry." Jangjun lays his head down on Sungyoon's sunken shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault Jangjun-ah, I thought I was ready too, mistakes are made, and things are said, but I knew he was going to walk down that aisle and never look back." He couldn't hold back the tears that fall silently down his face.

"You both shared many memories that date back to childhood, and you both shared the same love... I know I will never replace Daeyeol-ssi in that part of you." Jangjun would wait for the older always.

"You don't deserve this, but please give me time, promise things will be better, and you won't have to wait! Please give me time." Sungyoon intertwines his left hand with Jangjun's right, and in the silence of the night, there is doubt.

"You could hate me, but please don't leave." The older felt selfish, but he couldn't go back to that lonely road, not again!

"You will never be alone, Sungyoon hyung. I will be by your side, I promise." He didn't know how long he has to wait but knew he would go through it.

"I just need time." They will keep playing pretend till one of them admits defeat. It seems that day is far beyond their horizon.

So, they will keep hiding out in this makeshift hell they call home and wake up living a lie. Until one decides the other is enough or never, but they made a promise to go together even if they crash and burn.

"I love you." He didn't mean it, and Jangjun knew that.

"I love you too." He meant every single word and but Sungyoon didn't care for the truth.

So they keep playing house. 

__

_**-The End** _


	13. Untitled (Jibeom/Bomin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wrote this instead of sleeping and this time another pair surprisingly lol. 
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys it.

**__ **

**_ Song: Willow Tree March- The Paper Kites _ **

**__ **

**_ Jibeom : _ **

**__ **

**_ Bomin: _ **

**__ **

**_ No ones P.O.V: _ **

"Bomin, you can't keep doing this! You will only kill yourself, and no one will stick around to bury you because you not only alienated yourself but made it damn clear that you didn't need any of us." The younger just wanted a silent car ride back to his loft, but he got haggled by his best friend and ex-lover.

"Stop giving me the fucking lecture and let me wallow in my self-pity and shame hyung, save it for someone who gives a shit because I got nothing left to give." Waking up in a stranger's bed is not always the best experience, and especially when he is hungover and starving.

"Jaehyun begs me to not come after your sorry ass every time you call me high or drunk, always going off with someone new and leaving me with gray hairs." He tries his best not to accidentally go over the speed limit as he presses lightly on the gas with every word of distaste.

"Then why, do you!" Bomin shouts back in annoyance for the older's attitude.

"Because I fucking care... that is why and if I didn't, I wouldn't drive out to wherever god knows where you decided to waste your time." The older man is not in a pleasant mood, and his best friend's attitude is not helping either.

"I didn't fucking ask you too!" He hated feeling so low.

"If you are not gonna care about yourself, at least some else has to." He tries to hold back his ever-growing aggravation.

"Don't then hyung... just don't because you are wasting your time on someone that will never be who you want or loved." He needed another drink to chase away those spiteful thoughts.

Jibeom sometimes forgets how harsh the younger is on himself, and he hated this attribute about the younger Jibeom always found displeasure and anger because Bomin is a rocket of unlocked potential. He knew the real Choi Bomin and how vulnerable and scared little kid he is, and this facade of I don't give a fuck is just a ruse and deflection he puts up, so he will never have to hurt again.

He pulls onto the side of the abandoned roadside and turns to the younger, and all he wants to do is help the man he once thought of building a life and future. He wanted Bomin to know how much he cares and that all he needs to do is be honest and open with himself instead of so cold and disregarding.

"You are loved." Bomin didn't need to look further than what is within him.

To find that answer that's been seeking to be home. The younger male is tethered to the world around him and taking him to freedom from the long travel. It is a beautiful note of a heartbeat that soars to new heights begging to be released, not wanting to be trapped in its wild cage, and so he screams into the night for a new meaning.

"You never needed me or anyone, it has always lived inside of you, and that is why you must keep running... gotta keep surviving!" The younger male is a warrior without cause.

This world only graced him with pain and suffering. As he longs for something more than the four walls of his loft and his ball and chain, he calls his bed. The thought of his mortality is what brings him to his knees, shaking and stifling for air without effort. He falls every time until air and pavement feel like they are the same. Until he forgets the reality around him- how this uncertainty wraps around his throat and slowly tightens with each reveal of the ugly truth.

"There is hope, Bomin-ah. You need to want it as bad as the alternative," He had been teetering between the edge, playing with death and life, almost like it is some silly child's game.

He never knew how to live right, jumping from place to place, finding new beds to sleep his way through, people's names that didn't quite make it till morning, and new drugs that made his system light up like Christmas lights bringing him the serotonin he so desperately needs.

"You will never be satisfied as long as you keep escaping from that responsibility that you abhorred so passionately." Nothing ever clicked in his mind, and so he needed a bad guy. and he searched for one.

The young writer became so sloppy and resentful, holds that virtue of morality like he is the poster boy for a superiority complex, not wanting to admit a fucked up truth, so he hides behind his 4.0 GPA and a college degree. He always tried to strive for better and ended up like his parents, never stopped searching for more than what is in front of him, was never good enough, nothing nor no one could get him to stay in one place for long.

"Bomin, you need to be happy with the person you are to find the peace that you so dangerously sought out. It was never a person or place, Bomin, what made you and broke you. You must accept the things you can't change and make peace with that pain." He has been searching for an exit but never could find the right turns or time, always wallowing in his parade of despair.

"Look for the person within and greet them with gentle words and kind actions, for they have only known brutality and rage. You can't have peace without the panic, and certainly not without confrontation. You have been fighting those memories for too long." the man knew only how to run before he could ever learn how to walk.

"You deserve every good thing, and moments of joy, it is you who is stopping yourself from becoming something great... you must fight for the will to live, and you need to fight like hell, or you will die searching for something that will never be what you longed for." Come hell or high water Choi Bomin needed to make the change, or else he forever will be lost in that sea of white noise.

Would it ever be enough?

Could he ever let the past stop haunting him?

Or is he doomed to live in those mistakes and failures he so miserably tried to suppress?

Kim Jibeom is another name in his long list of people he loved, and the next person he needed to place priority over was himself without guilt or shame. The person he needs to love is himself- the only way he could finally find the missing piece of his chaotic puzzle he calls his hellish existence.

How he missed the comfort of the older's embrace, it is only temporary, but he needed the strength for the long travel back to the start. 

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you at least liked it and thank you for making it this far.💕💕💕
> 
> -AndreaXx


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